Conflict

Types of conflicts:

Classify these conflicts:

1-      Your 17 years old daughter wants to have a boyfriend, and you (as a Muslim) do not believe in Pre-marital sex.

2-      You loved a woman, and you wanted to marry her, but they refused to make the marriage contract in the mosque because she is an atheist.

3-      You are Addicted to drugs and you do not have enough money to buy food, but wanted to buy drugs.

	Self	God	Others
Value X value
Need X need
Value X need

Types of solution:

Classify these Solutions for the conflicts number one:

1-      You would let your daughter decide for herself and do what she wants, and you do not care.

2-      You would take her house and car’ keys, and not allow her to leave the house or use phone.

3-      You would tell her to decide for herself and do what she wants because you do not care, but you would hide her house and car’ keys, and not allow her to leave the house or use the phone.

4-      You would explain that to her you understand her age and its needs, but she needs to respect your values, so she can fill her needs through your values, 

		Passive	Assertive	Aggressive	Passive Aggressive
		Ignore self		Ignore others	You show passive and you act Aggressive
Talking
Body language	Voice
	Eyes
	Posture
	Hands
Listening

Examples of conflict in Quran:

1-            Cain and Abel: And recite to them the story of Adam's two sons, in truth, when they both offered a sacrifice [to Allah ], and it was accepted from one of them but was not accepted from the other. Said [the latter], "I will surely kill you." Said [the former], "Indeed, Allah only accepts from the righteous [who fear Him]. If you should raise your hand against me to kill me - I shall not raise my hand against you to kill you. Indeed, I fear Allah, Lord of the worlds. Indeed I want you to obtain [thereby] my sin and your sin so you will be among the companions of the Fire. And that is the recompense of wrongdoers." And his soul permitted to him the murder of his brother, so he killed him and became among the losers. Then Allah sent a crow searching in the ground to show him how to hide the disgrace of his brother. He said, "O woe to me! Have I failed to be like this crow and hide the body of my brother?" And he became of the regretful. Because of that, We decreed upon the Children of Israel that whoever kills a soul unless for a soul or for corruption [done] in the land - it is as if he had slain mankind entirely. And whoever saves one - it is as if he had saved mankind entirely. And our messengers had certainly come to them with clear proofs. Then indeed many of them, [even] after that, throughout the land, were transgressors. (5:27-32)

2-           Noah:

Noah’s conflict with
His people	His son	His God
And We had certainly sent Noah to his people, [saying]," Indeed, I am to you a clear warner. That you not worship except Allah. Indeed, I fear for you the punishment of a painful day." So the eminent among those who disbelieved from his people said, "We do not see you but as a man like ourselves, and we do not see you followed except by those who are the lowest of us [and] at first suggestion. And we do not see in you over us any merit; rather, we think you are liars." He said, "O my people have you considered: if I should be upon clear evidence from my Lord while He has given me mercy from Himself but it has been made unapparent to you, should we force it upon you while you are averse to it? And O my people, I ask not of you for it any wealth. My reward is not but from Allah. And I am not one to drive away those who have believed. Indeed, they will meet their Lord, but I see that you are a people behaving ignorantly. And O my people, who would protect me from Allah if I drove them away? Then will you not be reminded? And I do not tell you that I have the depositories [containing the provision] of Allah or that I know the unseen, nor do I tell you that I am an angel, nor do I say of those upon whom your eyes look down that Allah will never grant them any good. Allah is most knowing of what is within their souls. Indeed, I would then be among the wrongdoers." They said, "O Noah, you have disputed us and been frequent in dispute of us. So bring us what you threaten us, if you should be of the truthful." He said, " Allah will only bring it to you if He wills, and you will not cause [Him] failure. And my advice will not benefit you - although I wished to advise you - If Allah should intend to put you in error. He is your Lord, and to Him you will be returned." Or do they say [about Prophet Muhammad], "He invented it"? Say, "If I have invented it, then upon me is [the consequence of] my crime; but I am innocent of what [crimes] you commit." And it was revealed to Noah that, "No one will believe from your people except those who have already believed, so do not be distressed by what they have been doing. And construct the ship under Our observation and Our inspiration and do not address Me concerning those who have wronged; indeed, they are [to be] drowned." And he constructed the ship, and whenever an assembly of the eminent of his people passed by him, they ridiculed him. He said, "If you ridicule us, then we will ridicule you just as you ridicule. And you are going to know who will get a punishment that will disgrace him [on earth] and upon whom will descend an enduring punishment [in the Hereafter]." [So it was], until when Our command came and the oven overflowed, We said, "Load upon the ship of each [creature] two mates and your family, except those about whom the word has preceded, and [include] whoever has believed." But none had believed with him, except a few. And [Noah] said, "Embark therein; in the name of Allah is its course and   its anchorage. Indeed, my Lord is Forgiving and Merciful." (11:25-41)	And it sailed with them through waves like mountains, and Noah called to his son who was apart [from them], "O my son, come aboard with us and be not with the disbelievers." [But] he said, "I will take refuge on a mountain to protect me from the water." [Noah] said, "There is no protector today from the decree of Allah , except for whom He gives mercy." And the waves came between them, and he was among the drowned. And it was said, "O earth, swallow your water, and O sky, withhold [your rain]." And the water subsided, and the matter was accomplished, and the ship came to rest on the [mountain of] Judiyy. And it was said, "Away with the wrongdoing people." (11:42-44)	And Noah called to his Lord and said, "My Lord, indeed my son is of my family; and indeed, Your promise is true; and You are the most just of judges!" He said, "O Noah, indeed he is not of your family; indeed, he is [one whose] work was other than righteous, so ask Me not for that about which you have no knowledge. Indeed, I advise you, lest you be among the ignorant." [Noah] said, "My Lord, I seek refuge in You from asking that of which I have no knowledge. And unless You forgive me and have mercy upon me, I will be among the losers." (11:45 -47)

3- Abraham: Have you not considered the one who argued with Abraham about his Lord [merely] because Allah had given him kingship? When Abraham said, "My Lord is the one who gives life and causes death," he said, "I give life and cause death." Abraham said, "Indeed, Allah brings up the sun from the east, so bring it up from the west." So the disbeliever was overwhelmed [by astonishment], and Allah does not guide the wrongdoing people. (2:258)

4-            Joseph and his master’s wife: He used “I” message to focus on his value not on her needs, without insulting her. “And she, in whose house he was, sought to seduce him. She closed the doors and said, "Come, you." He said, "[I seek] the refuge of Allah. Indeed, he is my master, who has made good my residence. Indeed, wrongdoers will not succeed." (12:23)

5-            Moses and Pharaoh: It was a conflict between the Hebrews’ value of freedom and the Pharaoh’s need of slavery for our luxury.

6-           Prophet Muhammad:

-          Stuck to his ground rules:

-          Agreed to disagree: Say, "O disbelievers, I do not worship what you worship. Nor are you worshippers of what I worship. Nor will I be a worshipper of what you worship. Nor will you be worshippers of what I worship. For you is your religion, and for me is my religion." (109:1-6)

-          Avoided manipulation:

-          Exercised patience

-          Asked God through prayer to help

-          Used prayer: When the Prophet was severely wounded at Uhud, some Companions asked him to invoke God's curse on the enemy. Instead, he prayed for them, saying: "O God, forgive my people, because they don't know." He did this while his face was covered with blood.

-          Asked for help from someone he trusted:

-          Forgiveness: After Muhammad Occupied Mecca, he turning to the people said: "O Quraish, what do you think of the treatment that I should accord you?" And they said, "Mercy, O Prophet of Allah. We expect nothing but good from you." Thereupon Muhammad declared: "I speak to you in the same words as Yūsuf spoke to his brothers. This day there is no reproof against you; Go your way, for you are free."